Sure, you could hire yourself some buff Austrian fitness coach named Sebastian to come to your door each morning, haul your ass out of bed and scream at you while you do crunches. But that’s needlessly expensive and intimidating. And you’d look weak in front of your girlfriend.
So really your best option today is the Fitbit Alta HR, the latest innovation in Fitbit technology. It screams at you in a gentler, more private and less intimidating way. They call it encouragement.
If you don’t already know (and if you don’t, we question your viability as a customer), the Fitbit Alta HR is a wearable activity tracker. It’s your own 24/7 fitness coach. In addition to prodding you into action and tracking your steps, distance and calories burned, this next stage of the technology monitors your heart rate and can even distinguish and report your light, deep and REM sleep. Yes, Fitbit Alta HR watches you while you sleep. We suppose that’s a good thing.
And about those sleek wristbands. They’re easily interchangeable and available in a variety of colors in leather, metal and what’s called ‘classic’ styles. You can even special order a tracker plated with 22 carat gold. We assume that’s in honor of the Donald Trump presidency.
Your Fitbit Alta HR wirelessly connects to your computer and over 200 other devices (though not your hedge clippers – yet) so you can log your food intake, record your workouts, study your fitness trends and even connect with your friends. Other buff friends, we assume. Otherwise, what’s the point?